The Interocitor

Hal Fishman 1931-2007

Fair and balanced. For real.

If I were a terrorist mastermind (part 1): Secret messages

Some folks think that terrorists use 1000-bit key crypto schemes and secret comm satellites to send their operational instructions and "go" codes. Alas, such methods are obvious and few. One is just waving one's hands and saying "Come and get me, coppers!" if one is that stupid.

Others think Osama's clothes are arranged to send messages, or the cadence in his voice. Childish, easily broken, noisy, and besides dead men can't send messages.

No, what you do is send spam. Spam is ideal.

• Your people don't have to do anything special, spam just happens every time they turn their computer on. Even an idiot can get spam. No policeman is going to say "You got spam; terrorists get spam; you must be a terrorist!" At least not twice.

• You don't even have to hide your spam -- there's so much of it, it's like tracking all the individual flushes in Manhattan 24/7, times a billion or so. Although sending from .pk or .af is chancy and .obl and .ter should be avoided.

• Each emissary is given a random three word group, something like "prune Ottawa xylophone" which he puts into his email program's inbox filter. Getting the idea yet?

• You send out millions of emails promising the infidels whores and the manhood to use them, each with 1000 random English words (but, d'oh, not the special ones).

• When they get a special one, the rest of the junk text is code which their OBL secret decoder ring can easily solve. The neat part? Even if the code is known and not replaced, and the Crusaders can decode all the incoming spam mail, we can place any number of decoys in the stream, addressed to nobody, and they'll even make "sense" out of some of the purely random ones, there's so many.

These Americans are such fools: If they really want to fight the war on terrorism they have to stamp out spam.

Universal Internet Filtering

“While filtering and monitoring technologies help parents to screen out offensive content and to monitor their child’s online activities, the use of these technologies is far from universal and may not be fool-proof in keeping kids away from adult material," Sen. {Daniel] Inouye said. “In that context, we must evaluate our current efforts to combat child pornography and consider what further measures may be needed to stop the spread of such illegal material over high-speed broadband connections."

"Given the increasingly important role of the Internet in education and commerce, it differs from other media like TV and cable because parents cannot prevent their children from using the Internet altogether," Sen. [Ted] Stevens said. "The headlines continue to tell us of children who are victimized online. While the issues are difficult, I believe Congress has an important role to play to ensure that the protections available in other parts of our society find their way to the Internet."

The measures they are calling for include directing the Federal Communications Commission to identify industry practices "that can limit the transmission of child pornography" and requiring the Federal Trade Commission to form a working group to identify blocking and filtering technologies in use and "identify, what, if anything could be done to improve the process and better enable parents to proactively protect their children online."

This report could mean anything from nothing, to pulling the plug on the whole thing. Or maybe just a nice government bug in every switch and router chip produced. It wouldn't be hard, technically. We could also add a government managed IP filter in every router sold. But probably it's just about protecting Inoye and Stevens from being called King Porkers at the next election. I can almost guarantee that it would not significantly slow spam or porn. Not than anyone cares.

"In its zeal to protect kids from predators and potentially inappropriate content, Congress must not trample the First Amendment rights of Internet users," Center for Democracy and Technology said in a statement submitted to the Committee today.

The last thing we need is an Internet designed by Congress. Unfortunately the various bodies that used to handle these things are missing in action.

Many domains in the US have implemented some form of reverse MX to stop spam, but until it actually mandated by the powers-that-be (Google, AOL, MS, Yahoo) [GAMY? shut up] it will have no effect. Reverse MX would indicate that the stuff you are getting came from the domain indicated on the envelope, allowing you to have meaningful filters. If AOL or Yahoo were to insist, however, rejecting all non-complying mail, everyone would fix it up fast, and likely before Der Tag.

Both a .xxx and a .kids domain have been proposed. Both in an attempt to stop porn, and in the latter to make an internet "playground" for kids. One could even imagine acceptable government controls on content sent to a ".kids" domain email address, or posted on a ".kids" website. However, the current domain proposal calls for private regulation by entities benefiting from the "safe" kids domain. Seems reasonable as the government never looks after your sick pig, to paraphrase Jimmy Carter. There are some, though, who find any censorship -- even consensual censorship for minors -- to be anathema and oppose ".kids" on free-speech grounds. They oppose limits on porn as well, joined oddly by people who oppose *any* porn.

A lot of talk, nothing done. Can't ICANN act? Or Hotmail turn on their reverse-MX insister? Is Congress really going to make the choices? Are we really that stupid?

When can a public school fire a teacher for "speech"?

First, I want to say I'm down with the University of Colorado firing Ward Churchill. For whatever. Plagiarism is good. Mopery would also work. So would Internet piracy of John Denver songs, peeking into the girl's gym, or spitting on the sidewalk.

But I have to ask... isn't there some speech after which the state is no longer required to employ someone for the purposes of teaching? Examples:

--A [tenured] history professor becomes pro-Nazi and turns her courses into investigations of Jewish perfidy in Wiemar Germany and analyzing the West's "post-war decline into 'mongrelism.'"

--A biology professor is struck by the Old Time Religion and not only denies Global Warming, but lectures repeatedly on Young Earth Creationism. using the Bible as text. Is this extra protected, being religious expression?

--A Nobel-winning physics professor becomes well-known for his views on the inferiority of "the darker races."

--A history professor decides that all of the folks blown up in Oklahoma City by Tim McVeigh deserved it. He calls the federal employees who died "Little Stalins" and suggests that such actions are only right considering generations of oppression by a hateful US government, starting with that horrid Mr Lincoln.

This is all protected speech? I rather doubt it. So, while I'm glad he's gone, I just wish the University had come out and said that while it was proven that he was guilty of plagiarism, mopery, etc, they were firing him for being unfit to teach and an embarrassment to the school, based solely on his speech.

Posted by Kevin Murphy at 04:23 PM | TrackBack (0)

Dear Mr. President...

The White House Washington D.C. July 21, 2007

Dear Mr President:

I'm sorry if you're still groggy while you read this -- I told them not to wake you -- but I and half the Cabinet think that I'd make a better president. So sorry.

As you can see by the attached copy of Amendment 25 (at least the way my staff parses it), you can get your job back only if Speaker Pelosi and Majority Leader Reid can get you the votes. Before I arrest them. Or maybe if the Supreme Court reads the law your way. Again.

Either way it goes, though, we're enjoying the irony. It should be fun to watch Nancy trying to get her folks to vote you in. I hear that Maxine Waters had a stroke when she heard. Pity that.

Anyway, we all wish you a speedy recovery and hope you take some time out at the ranch.

Your obedient servant, &tc
Acting President Cheney

Update: Unsurprisingly, this didn't happen.

Continue reading "Dear Mr. President..."

Fear of Flying

People are starting to worry about the low ratings for Congress and the Executive. Bush is around 34%, and the Congress has fallen to 14%. The military is the only official institution to have substantial support, above 60%. As Don Surber points out: "And we dare mock the fledgling Iraqi democracy."

Why? Probably because the political class isn't attacking the military. Yet. But they've rather thoroughly managed to attack each other. Worse, they've encouraged their respective bases to demand total submission. Not only won't this happen, antagonizing the fringe, but the act of pandering to the fringe turns off the vast middle.

The result: Consider if airlines ran, year after year, advertisements attacking the safety and sanity of their competition. Gruesome photos of the other guy's aircraft littering a hillside, with "Don't Fly United" over a background of body bags. Etc. People would do anything not to fly.

So it is with modern US politics. The politics of personal destruction has become total war, and the political class has finally achieved mutual destruction. Perhaps it's time for the two parties to sit down for a bit.

Looking at the current Nolan chart, above, there's room for other ideologies -- either mild authoritarian (e.g. Bloomberg) or mild libertarian (Bill Gates?) seems wide open. As the two parties flee the center, even a pure centrist has a chance.

But it's getting increasingly obvious that the left-right statist axis is no longer meeting the country's needs.

Refuting Malthus

America honors the greatest living American, and no one in America notices.

I side with Lord Voldemort on this one

Just thought I'd mention the utter bile I feel for the folks who posted the new Harry Potter book to the internet before it came out. Not only is it theft, but the likelihood is large that some yahoo will post the ending all over the web, ruining a generational experience for countless people.

Frankly, I hope that they have their knees pall-peened. &*%king vandals.

Product of China

So, I was going through my local brand-new Whole Foods today, looking for frozen foods to justify my new freezer. The store is impressive and about one square foot short of violating the Wal-Mart laws. Every inch of the store screams wholesomeness, fitness and well just all-around good stuff. A culinary Disneyland for yuppies.

So, here I am cruising the frozen vegetable half-acre, stuffing my basket with organic this and natural that when I notice something on one label: Product of China. Hmmn. Isn't that the country that just executed their head food inspector because they were shocked, shocked, to find that bribery was going on there? Not sure I actually want organic edamame from a country that shoots their FDA boss. Maybe the non-organic stuff. Well, no, Product of China there too. How about the spinach? Ooops. Green beans? I'm noticing a pattern about now.

It turned out that over 50% of the vegetables they had for sale came from China. And that's just the house brands (the kind made by good people for other good people). Frankly, I just lost my healthy glow right then and there. Those three words seemed suddenly to be everywhere.

Now, I'm sure that Whole Foods has someone personally inspecting every People's Army farm and collective to make sure that organic means organic and that all standards are met. I mean, if they were just relying on Chinese assurances that all was on the up-and-up that would be, well, worrysome. Them shooting the guy in charge of that and all. But not his many deputies.

So I get home and look at what the other stores sell -- those nasty non-organic corporate behemoths like Ralph's and Safeway. Pretty much US produce. California. Washington State. Some stuff from Mexico or France. Even their overpriced organic stuff is local, and proud of it.

Whole Foods doesn't seem quite so whole to me today. Maybe I'm overreacting. I do that a lot. But right now I think I'll avoid Product of China, at least in food.

At least until it's safe for cats.

Kafka Had Nothing on US Immigration

A co-worker of mine, who is a Canadian citizen born in India and legally resident in the US, is attempting to convert his H1-B status to permanent resident. It isn't easy. Not even close. The US immigration authorities make the Keystone Cops look organized.

To begin with, he shouldn't even need to get permanent resident status. US and Canadian citizens are allowed to work in each other's countries, for the most part, without special status. However several years ago someone at another company convinced my co-worker to take H1-B status, and once having done so he needs to constantly jump through H1-B hoops or to apply for immigrant status -- he has permanently given up his Canadian rights by once applying for an H1-B visa. Being born in India, he has to apply as from that country, not from Canada, even though he is Canadian.

So he does this, in good faith. But the US government -- all ready to welcome 12 million illegal immigrants with open arms -- treats legal immigrants with utter disdain. All last month this co-worker was getting set for his big application, doctor's reports, papers from grammar school, financial records -- endless documentation that no one will ever look at -- and considerable cost in time and money. It all had to be ready by July 2. He just managed to get it all done and sent it in.

But let the NY Times explain:.

The prickliness and glacial ineptitude of the immigration system is old news to millions of would-be Americans. Immigrants who play by the rules know that the rules are stringent, arbitrary, expensive and very time-consuming. But even the most seasoned citizens-in-waiting were stunned by the nasty bait-and-switch the federal bureaucracy pulled on them this month. After encouraging thousands of highly skilled workers to apply for green cards, the government snatched the opportunity away.

The tease came in a bulletin issued by the State Department in June announcing that green cards for a wide range of skilled workers would be available to those who filed by July 2. That prompted untold numbers of doctors, medical technicians and other professionals, many of whom have lived here with their families for years, to assemble little mountains of paper. They got certified records and sponsorship documents, paid for medical exams and lawyers and sent their applications in. Many canceled vacations to be in the United States when their applications arrived, as the law requires.

Then they learned that the hope was effectively a hoax. The State Department had issued the bulletin to prod Citizenship and Immigration Services, the bureaucracy that handles immigration applications, to get cracking on processing them. The agency is notorious for fainting over paperwork — 182,694 green cards have been squandered since 2000 because it did not process them in time. That bureaucratic travesty is a tragedy, since the annual supply of green cards is capped by law, and the demand chronically outstrips supply. The State Department said it put out the bulletin to ensure that every available green card would be used this time.

After working through the weekend, the citizenship agency processed tens of thousands of applications. On Monday, the State Department announced that all 140,000 employment-based green cards had been used and no applications would be accepted.

Citizenship and Immigration Services, the definition of a hangdog bureaucracy, says the law forbids it to accept the applications. The American Immigration Lawyers Association says this interpretation is rubbish. It is preparing a class-action lawsuit to compel the bureaucracy to accept the application wave that it provoked.

The good news is that immigrants’ hope is pretty much unquenchable. Think of the hundreds of people standing in the rain in ponchos at Walt Disney World on Independence Day, joining the flood of new citizens now cresting across the country. They celebrated on July Fourth, but for many of them the magic date is July 30, when a new fee schedule for immigrants takes effect, drastically jacking up the cost of the American dream.

The collapse of immigration reform in the Senate showed the world what America thinks of illegal immigrants — it wants them all to go away. But the federal government, through bureaucratic malpractice, is sending the same message to millions of legal immigrants, too.